About Mutual Desires
Mutual Desires is an independent project: a private sex quiz for couples and a library of beginner guides. It's a better version of the yes/no/maybe lists couples already pass back and forth, made to be taken on two phones and compared without anyone's no's showing.
How the quiz is built
- Five answers instead of three. For you and Fantasy separate "I'd do it for you" and "I like it as talk" from a real yes.
- Only the overlap. You see what you both said some kind of yes to. A Won't never shows.
- Ladders. Many activities come in steps of rising intensity, so you can see where each of you draws the line.
- Reworded cards. Some cards come back later in different words, so one wording can't skew things. Each counts on its own, like any other card.
- Round two. For shared Curious answers, you each say how curious you really are, then get a ranked list of where to start.
The full deck has 304 cards across 188 activities.
How the guides are written
Each guide covers what an activity is, how to start, how to keep it safe and what you need. They draw on peer-reviewed research and on kink-positive professional sources, and every guide lists its sources. They're educational, not medical or legal advice. If something hurts in a way it shouldn't, see a doctor.
Safety and consent
Everything here needs both people's ongoing yes, a safeword, and room to stop. Some activities carry real physical risk, like suspension, fire and electrical play, and are worth learning from someone experienced first. Choking and breath play are left out on purpose because of the risk of brain injury. Laws differ by place, and a few guides note where that matters.
How the site makes money
Right now it doesn't. In the future, some guides may link to products, and Mutual Desires may earn a commission if you buy through those links. They'll be labeled, and they won't decide what the guides recommend.
Who it's for
Adults 18 and over. If you're younger, Scarleteen has honest, judgment-free sex ed written for teens and young adults.