A private sex quiz for couples
Find out what you both want.
Mutual Desires is a free quiz you each take on your own phone. You swipe through the same deck of cards, from slow and close to seriously kinky, then swap codes. You only see what you both said yes to. Anything either of you marked Won't stays hidden.
For adults 18 and over. No account, no sign-up, and your answers stay on your phone.
How it works
- Pick a deck. Anywhere from 30 to 304 cards. Share the deck code so you both get the same cards.
- Swipe on your own. Answer for yourself, not for what you think your partner wants.
- Swap codes. Your answer code looks like random letters, so it's discreet to text.
- See your overlap. What you both want, what's worth trying, and what's better as talk. A second round ranks where to start.
Five answers, not three
Sex therapists often use a want, will, won't list, also called a yes/no/maybe list. This quiz splits the middle answer, because "I'd try it" can mean two very different things. More on the Want, Will, Won't list.
- WantYou'd love to. Swipe right.
- CuriousYou think it could be cool to try. Swipe up.
- For youIt doesn't do much for you, but you're game if your partner wants it. Swipe down.
- FantasyHot to talk about, not to do. Swipe left.
- Won'tNot for you. It's never shown to anyone. Tap the red ✕.
Why only the overlap?
Saying what you want out loud is hard, and hearing your partner's no can sting. Comparing privately takes the pressure off. You never see each other's no's, so nobody has to defend one, and what's left is a list of things you can actually start talking about.
Built to give honest answers
- Intensity ladders. Many activities come in steps from mild to intense, so you can see where each of you draws the line.
- Reworded cards. Some cards come back later in different words, so one awkward wording can't skew your results.
- Research on the cards. Fun facts cite their sources, like Herbenick and colleagues' 2017 national survey of American adults and Justin Lehmiller's survey of more than 4,000 Americans' fantasies.
Beginner guides
Every match links to a short guide: what it is, how to start, how to keep it safe, and what you need. There are 49 so far, each with its sources.
Slow & close
Full-body massage · Slow nights and closeness · Quickies and scheduling
Talk & tease
Dirty talk · Sexting, calls and photos · Sharing fantasies · Degradation and humiliation · Praise
Role-play & fantasy
Role-play · Consensual non-consent · Sleep play
Power & control
Taking charge and power exchange · Orgasm control and denial · Orgasm overload
Rope & restraint
Restraint basics · Rope bondage
Impact & pain
Rough sex · Spanking · Hair pulling · Biting, scratching and marks · Floggers and crops · Pain play
Senses & sensation
Blindfolds and sensory play · Temperature, wax and edge sensation
Bodies & fetishes
Oral · Lingerie and dressing up · Anal, from first steps to advanced · Foot play · Body worship · Watching: each other, mirrors and porn
Toys & gear
Vibrators and toys · Remote-control toys · Photos and video for the two of you
Seen & almost caught
Sharing online · The risk of getting caught · Being seen and shown off · Lifestyle clubs · Flirting and kissing others
Adding someone
Threesomes · Swapping and opening up · Hotwife and stag · Cuckolding
Brats, pets & primal
Ownership and collars · Pet play · Primal play · Brats and brat taming
Care & ground rules
Safewords and limits · Aftercare · Trying new things together
Questions
Is Mutual Desires free?
Yes. The quiz and the beginner guides are free, and there's no account or sign-up.
Can my partner see what I said no to?
No. Your results only show cards where you both gave some kind of yes. Anything either of you marked Won't stays hidden from both of you. It does run on trust: someone who marked everything Want would see everything you didn't rule out.
Where are my answers stored?
Only in your browser on your phone. Nothing is sent to a server. Your answer code carries your answers in a compact form that looks like random letters, so send it only to your partner.
How long does the quiz take?
A 30-card deck takes about three minutes. The full deck of 304 cards takes about 25 minutes. You can stop anytime and pick up where you left off.
Do we need two phones?
Two phones work best, so you each answer without seeing the other's screen. You can also take turns on one phone.
Is it only for kinky couples?
No. Small decks start with slow, affectionate and everyday things, and bigger decks add more niche and intense cards. Matching mostly on the gentle stuff is useful to know too.
How is this different from a solo kink test?
Most kink tests describe one person. This one is built for two: you each answer separately, then see only where you overlap, with a couple mix (like who leads and who follows) and a beginner guide for each match.
What if we want different things?
That's normal. Results sort your matches into things you both want, things worth trying, things one of you is game for, and things that might be better as talk. Anything either of you won't do never comes up.
Ready when you are
Pick a deck, send your partner the code, and swipe on your own. It takes about three minutes for the shortest deck.