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Vibrators and toys: a beginner's guide
Toys add to sex instead of replacing anything. Plenty of couples use them together, and shopping for them together is half the fun.
In the quiz
- A vibrator during sex
- Wand vibrator
- Couples’ toys
- Shopping for toys together
- Dildos or strap-ons
- Sex furniture
How to start
- Shop together, online or in person.
- Start with a small vibrator during foreplay or sex.
- Wash toys before and after every use.
How to keep it safe
- Choose body-safe materials: medical-grade silicone, glass or stainless steel.
- Don’t use silicone lube on silicone toys. It can damage them.
- Anything for anal play needs a flared base.
What you need
- Starter: a small silicone vibrator.
- Upgrade: a wand vibrator, couples’ wearables, or a wedge pillow.
Ideas to try
- A toy-only night.
- Hand your partner the toy and show them what you like.
Is your partner into it too?
Take the quiz on your own phones. You'll only see vibrators and toys in your results if you both said some kind of yes.
Sources
- Herbenick et al. & Reece et al. (2009). Vibrator use by women and men in the United States. Journal of Sexual Medicine.
- Frederick et al. (2018). Differences in orgasm frequency among gay, lesbian, bisexual, and heterosexual men and women in a U.S. national sample. Archives of Sexual Behavior.
Related guides
- Remote-control toys
A wearable toy someone else controls, from the next room, across the dinner table, or from another state.
- Photos and video for the two of you
Recording yourselves just for you. Many couples find watching it back exciting.
Educational, not medical or legal advice. Updated 2026-11-09.