Care & ground rules
Aftercare: a beginner's guide
Looking after each other after sex or a scene: cuddling, water, a snack, reassurance. Research has found partners feel closer after scenes that go well.
In the quiz
- Aftercare
- Talking it over the next day
How to start
- Ask each other what you want afterward.
- Keep a blanket and water nearby.
- Talk it over the next day.
How to keep it safe
- A drop can come hours or even days later.
- Both partners can need aftercare, not just the one who received.
What you need
- Starter: a soft blanket and snacks.
Ideas to try
- A ritual: shower, snack, cuddle.
- A check-in text the next day.
Is your partner into it too?
Take the quiz on your own phones. You'll only see aftercare in your results if you both said some kind of yes.
Sources
- Sagarin et al. (2009). Hormonal changes and couple bonding in consensual sadomasochistic activity. Archives of Sexual Behavior.
- Ambler et al. (2017). Consensual BDSM facilitates role-specific altered states of consciousness: A preliminary study. Psychology of Consciousness.
Related guides
- Safewords and limits
A word that stops everything, no questions. It makes it easier to try things, because stopping is always one word away.
- Trying new things together
Doing new things together helps keep desire alive in long relationships, in and out of bed.
Educational, not medical or legal advice. Updated 2026-11-09.