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Care & ground rules
Trying new things together: a beginner's guide
Doing new things together helps keep desire alive in long relationships, in and out of bed.
In the quiz
- Trying one new thing a month
- Taking a class or workshop together
- Date nights that end in bed
- A hotel night just for sex
- Every room of the house
How to start
- Pick one thing from your matches each month.
- Take a class together: rope, sex ed or massage.
- Book a hotel room in your own town.
How to keep it safe
- New doesn’t have to mean extreme.
What you need
- Starter: a shared calendar.
Ideas to try
- A monthly new-thing date.
- A rope class as a date night.
Is your partner into it too?
Take the quiz on your own phones. You'll only see trying new things together in your results if you both said some kind of yes.
Sources
- Aron et al. (2000). Couples' shared participation in novel and arousing activities and experienced relationship quality. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
- Muise et al. (2019). Broadening your horizons: Self-expanding activities promote desire and satisfaction in established romantic relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
Related guides
- Safewords and limits
A word that stops everything, no questions. It makes it easier to try things, because stopping is always one word away.
- Aftercare
Looking after each other after sex or a scene: cuddling, water, a snack, reassurance. Research has found partners feel closer after scenes that go well.
Educational, not medical or legal advice. Updated 2026-11-09.