Adding someone
Cuckolding: a beginner's guide
Like hotwifing, but with teasing or humiliation for the partner who watches. It’s a far more common fantasy than people admit.
In the quiz
- Being teased about your partner wanting someone else
- Hearing every detail afterward
- Cuckolding with humiliation
- Cleaning up afterward
How to start
- Start with teasing talk during sex.
- Then hearing every detail after a date.
- Watching while being teased is a later step.
How to keep it safe
- The humiliation is a role. Check in outside the scene.
- The watcher especially needs aftercare.
- STI testing for everyone involved.
What you need
- Starter: condoms.
Ideas to try
- A detailed debrief in bed afterward.
- A reward scene for the watcher afterward.
Is your partner into it too?
Take the quiz on your own phones. You'll only see cuckolding in your results if you both said some kind of yes.
Sources
- Lehmiller, Ley & Savage (2018). The psychology of gay men's cuckolding fantasies. Archives of Sexual Behavior.
- Lehmiller, J. (2018). Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire (survey of 4,175 Americans).
Related guides
- Threesomes
Adding one more person. It’s the most common sexual fantasy, and far fewer people do it, so talk it through carefully.
- Swapping and opening up
Swapping partners with another couple, or opening the relationship under rules you agree on. More people have tried it than you’d guess.
- Hotwife and stag
One partner plays with others while the other watches or hears about it, with pride rather than humiliation. Often called hotwife and stag, or hothusband and vixen.
Educational, not medical or legal advice. Updated 2026-11-09.