Home › Guides › Degradation and humiliation

Talk & tease

Degradation and humiliation: a beginner's guide

Words and treatment that would be insults anywhere else, used as a turn-on. It’s often about letting go of having to be good.

In the quiz

• Degrading names in dirty talk
• Light humiliation
• Being used for the other’s pleasure
• Being treated like an object
• Humiliation in front of others
• Watersports

How to start

1. Agree on specific words that are in and words that are out.
2. Start with one or two words during sex.
3. Keep it in the bedroom.
4. Follow it with affection.

How to keep it safe

• Degradation can hit real insecurities. Avoid things like weight or intelligence unless they’ve asked for it.
• Reassure afterward and check in the next day.
• Watersports: keep it out of eyes and mouth, and skip it with any infection.

What you need

• Nothing needed.

Ideas to try

• A name only used in bed.
• Being used, then praised after.

Is your partner into it too?

Take the quiz on your own phones. You'll only see degradation and humiliation in your results if you both said some kind of yes.

Take the quiz

Sources

• Brown, Barker & Rahman (2020). A systematic scoping review of the prevalence, etiological, psychological, and interpersonal factors associated with BDSM. Journal of Sex Research.
• Dunkley & Brotto (2020). The role of consent in the context of BDSM. Sexual Abuse.

Related guides

• Dirty talk

  Saying what you want, what you’re doing or what you’re about to do. For a lot of couples it’s the fastest, cheapest way to turn things up.

• Sexting, calls and photos

  Building anticipation while you’re apart with texts, calls or photos. It’s how a lot of couples keep things going through busy weeks and work trips.

• Sharing fantasies

  Telling each other what you think about, whether or not you’d ever do it. Talking about a fantasy is its own kind of sex, and it’s usually where trying things starts.

• Praise

  Telling your partner how good they’re being. It’s simple and works on almost everyone.

Educational, not medical or legal advice. Updated 2026-11-09.