Sharing fantasies: a beginner's guide

Telling each other what you think about, whether or not you’d ever do it. Talking about a fantasy is its own kind of sex, and it’s usually where trying things starts.

In the quiz

Telling each other your fantasies
Dirty talk about someone else joining
Reading erotica together

How to start

Agree first that sharing a fantasy isn’t a request to do it.
Go one at a time and keep it short. React with curiosity, not judgment.
Start with milder ones and see how they land.
Reading erotica together helps if you don’t know how to say it yourself.

How to keep it safe

Some fantasies are better kept as fantasies. That’s what the Fantasy answer is for.
If something your partner shares bothers you, bring it up later and kindly, not in the moment.

What you need

Starter: an erotica book or an audio erotica app.

Ideas to try

Each write one down and swap.
Tell one out loud during sex.

Is your partner into it too?

Take the quiz on your own phones. You'll only see sharing fantasies in your results if you both said some kind of yes.

Take the quiz

Sources

Related guides

Dirty talk
Saying what you want, what you’re doing or what you’re about to do. For a lot of couples it’s the fastest, cheapest way to turn things up.
Sexting, calls and photos
Building anticipation while you’re apart with texts, calls or photos. It’s how a lot of couples keep things going through busy weeks and work trips.
Degradation and humiliation
Words and treatment that would be insults anywhere else, used as a turn-on. It’s often about letting go of having to be good.
Praise
Telling your partner how good they’re being. It’s simple and works on almost everyone.

Educational, not medical or legal advice. Updated 2026-11-09.