Home › Guides › Full-body massage

Slow & close

Full-body massage: a beginner's guide

The easiest way to slow down and get comfortable touching each other with no pressure. It works on its own or as a long warm-up.

In the quiz

• Full-body massage

How to start

1. Warm the room and the oil, and lay a towel down so nobody worries about the sheets.
2. Start with back and shoulders, using long, slow strokes with your whole hand.
3. Ask about pressure a couple of times early, then let them stop talking and relax.
4. Decide beforehand whether it can turn into sex, so the person receiving can relax either way.

How to keep it safe

• Don’t press on the spine, the backs of the knees or the front of the neck.
• Oil-based products break down latex condoms. Use water-based lube if condoms are involved.
• Patch-test oils if either of you has sensitive skin.

What you need

• Starter: a plain massage oil.
• Upgrade: a massage candle that melts into warm oil.

Ideas to try

• Trade turns: twenty minutes each, timer on.
• Make it the start of a long night with nowhere to be.

Is your partner into it too?

Take the quiz on your own phones. You'll only see full-body massage in your results if you both said some kind of yes.

Take the quiz

Sources

• Muise et al. (2019). Broadening your horizons: Self-expanding activities promote desire and satisfaction in established romantic relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
• Mallory (2022). Dimensions of couples' sexual communication, relationship satisfaction, and sexual satisfaction: A meta-analysis. Journal of Family Psychology.

Related guides

• Slow nights and closeness

  Hours instead of minutes. Long make-outs, showers together, eye contact and very slow sex are about closeness more than technique.

• Quickies and scheduling

  Short, spontaneous sex fits busy lives, and scheduling it makes sure it actually happens.

Educational, not medical or legal advice. Updated 2026-11-09.